Comebacks

Why do we always think of the best comebacks to a stupid situation or question hours or even days after the fact? I was out for dinner with two of my friends last night, when some upperclassmen started calling my name across the restaurant. I ignored them for a while, and then they asked the group of seven year olds sitting in between us to get my attention and ask me to go over to their table. I did so because if i didn't they would have continued to yell across the place, interrupting people's meals. I had previously only known one of these upperclassmen because we had played softball together in grade school. Anyway, what ensued was me taking a barrage of bullshit about topics ranging from my iPod to my earbuds. I said nothing because I just wanted to get back to my chicken ranch burger. I dealt with it and then sat back down with my friends. When I went to bed later, so many ideas came flooding into my head of what I could have said that would have been better than just standing there and taking it. I could have pretended the iPod was a hearing aid and started yelling like I couldn't hear them when they took it. I could asked my friends to give me a character to be when I went over, a hillbilly, someone from Great Britain, anything. They didn't know who I was, the only one that did I hadn't seen in years. And I could care less if I make an idiot of myself in front of everyone, as long as they felt that they made a mistake in calling me over to ridicule me. I need to sharpen my comeback responses so I can come up with this stuff on the spot.